Alya

7 August 2014

Three
Over and over

Two
Forever and once

One
Void and nothingness

Zero.

Alya told me to repeat this every time I was scared. Before I went to sleep. Before I started my day. Before I fell away into the night. The words don’t mean much, and it’s not the order or the rhythm that’s soothing. The mantra is just something to concentrate on, to repeat, into nothingness and void, once and forever, over and over, until all that remains in the world is me and you. That’s the first part, the first line of the mantra that Alya taught me: “You and me”. But I removed it when she went. It’s too hard getting my heart broken twice, when she went and when I didn’t, so getting my heart broken every time I get scared is impossible. Zero one two three.